Chapter 6: The Proposal and a sea of memories

 

“Have you read the pre-nup Freda?” Toby growled.

“Nope. Why?”

“Well Mom thinks its about time we wrapped up the marriage thingy. We’ve been engaged for 5 years anyway. Time to do something about it. You’re not getting any younger.”

Freda could not believe her ears. Was this Toby’s idea of a proposal for marriage? If it was, it made her feel sick. She was already a prisoner in this house for the past 5 years. Technically, they were engaged, but only on paper. Not one day has passed by where she wished she was never engaged to Toby. She did it for her family, so did he. But there was no love. Nothing at all. She had tried for 5 years. But it did not work.

 

“You better read the pre-nup. If you’re happy with it then just sign on page 10 at the bottom. No further negotiations, just in case you were wondering.”

 

So this was what it was all about then. A marriage proposal which came 5 years later. The tone of his voice was cold as ice. You would usually shake your client’s hand after the successful conclusion of a contract. But in this instant, there were only cold words and a 10 page pre-nuptial agreement to declare his intentions.

 

Freda felt totally disgusted at his proposal. She felt herself tearing apart inside. The years of frustration, her trying hard to suppress her emotions at bay, her numerous attempts to forget the beautiful love story she had so painstakingly built up with the one and only love of her life, all came crashing down on her. She could not take it anymore.

 

Freda slumped into a chair, memories flooding back into her head… as if everything happened only yesterday…

 

She recalled the day when she was summoned into her father’s chambers where he would decide her fate. She was then very much in love with Hayden, someone who totally changed her life forever. They were planning to get married, have children, basically spending the rest of their lives together. He had totally swept her away with his charm. Basically they were totally smitten with each other.

 

She would remember the day that her dad spelt out her fate for her.

“Darling, I hope you can understand what daddy is asking you to do. I am now heavily debt ridden and there is only one person who can help me get through this crisis. I had no choice but to ask Uncle Kelp for help.

The only way we can do this, is to announce an engagement between you and Toby. Although I am still in financial difficulties, by announcing your engagement, we would be able to boost the shares in Kelp Inc. He would then use the proceeds to help me out. That’s the plan.

 

“Daddy, how about Hayden?”

 

“Honey, you have got to help me here. There is nobody else who can do this now. I am now hiding my legacy of bad debts behind a good name. Hayden can’t help me get through this crisis. Only Uncle Kelp can do that.”

 

“Daddy…”

 

“No buts.. Honey. You are the angel of my heart. I would never do anything to hurt you. But this time round, I really, really need your help. I know what I am asking of you is very unreasonable. But Toby is not a bad boy I assure you. And this is just going to be a temporary thing I promise you. We can call off the engagement about a year later, when my finances have restored.”

 

Freda was terribly distraught.. she made a choice which she prayed that nobody in their life ever had to make.

 

It was with much reluctance and heartache that she forced herself to tell Hayden a lie so that he could forget about her. Like a piercing knife through her heart, she broke the news to him when they were supposed to leave for a holiday to Europe. She left him a message at the hotel, packed her bags and quietly went to Victoria Station.

 

Hayden, upon receiving the message had rushed to Heathrow airport looking in vain for her, thinking that she had caught the next flight home. His search was to no avail. He even went to King’s Cross to check whether she was on the last train back to Newcastle. For the whole evening he took the tube, searching for her, his heart sinking every second as he realized that he would lost her forever.

 

Freda stared at her phone at Victoria Station, tears falling down from her eyes as she thought of the cruel choice she had to make. She knew that given the state of their relationship, there was no way she could tell him in the face that she was getting engaged to someone else just so that she could save her dad’s business. She was not strong enough to face him that way.

 

So she chose to run away from it all and accept her fate.

 

Therefore, it was with much reluctance and bitterness that she acceded to her father’s request and got engaged to Toby. The engagement party was a masquerade, to mask the last heartbeats of her father’s once booming empire. She was dressed to the nines, to present what was to her a mere façade of a happy couple to the media. Her heart bled as she shook hands with the distinguished guests, each of them congratulating her in return. She felt no reason to be happy, yet she had to force herself to put up a megawatt smile. The show had to go on. For the entire evening, Toby did not even look at her. They knew each other as friends, but neither of them had ever imagined that they would end up engaged to each other under such circumstances. It was a merger of two empires at the expense of the happiness of both Toby and Freda.

 

For five years she had stayed under one roof with a man whom she could not bring herself to love. Looking back, she wondered how she did it in the first place… not one day went by where she did not think of Hayden and the children that they were never going to have.

 

And now… after five years… was she going to stay put and accept what has been bestowed upon her? Was she going to waste another 5 years? Most importantly, did she want to continue living like this?

 

With a heavy sigh, Freda got up went into her room. She walked towards the safe which she kept all her prized possessions, locked by a combination number so long and complicated that sometimes she confused herself while trying to open the safe.

 

She retrieved a thick journal from the safe, looked at it adoringly started to leaf through the pages.

 

A random entry in her diary made her eyes well up in tears. This was written the day after she left on a jetplane while he traveled to Europe alone, his heart broken into a thousand pieces.

 

Dear Hayden,

Here I am at Heathrow airport writing this to you. The past one year had been such a wonderful one. Never in my wildest dreams would I have ever imagined that both of us would cross paths.

I still remember the day when I first saw you at the union. You were quiet, as if there were a thousand thoughts going on in your mind.

 

Walking down with you along River Tyne in November was fantastic. Never would I have ever imagined that you would ask me out. My heart was leaping with joy… and I really really had a good time.

 

Being in your arms on a cold winter evening in early December, where you kindly took off your jacket and wrapped it around me really warmed my heart. It was also the day when we officially started dating. The lovely flowers, your warm hands, your strong shoulders… every single detail seems so clear in my mind.

 

We spent our first Christmas together, roasting turkey, sipping rose wine, eating minced pies…those were really happy times.

 

Our weekend trips down to Whitley Bay, sharing tv dinners, going for movies… etc… every single thing that we did together, be it a simple chore or a trip to get away from it all, was magical. I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you.

 

And so did you too.

 

I prayed so hard that you would be accepted into your new job. I prayed that we would have many more Christmases together, I prayed so hard for us.

 

But, perhaps, my prayers were not heard, or I did not pray hard enough.

 

I pray that no one, no one in this world, especially those who are so deeply in love would ever have to make such a decision. It is so cruel, so cruel.

 

Daddy is in trouble. We are going to lose everything. Only Uncle Kelp can help us. Oh but why does it have to be me who is going to be sacrificed?

 

Why is it that I always have to be at the frontline?

 

Why?

 

Why?

 

My heart is aching.. its as if there are a thousand knives piercing me continuously, and it will not stop. It bleeds, blood dripping slowly, steadily, drip by drip, each drip reminding me of every moment that we spent together.

 

Forgive me my dear Hayden. For I must leave you… I know there is no way you are going to agree to my sacrifice if I see you in person. I know you too well… you would not let me go. My family needs my help.. if this is the one thing I can do to save daddy.. I don’t think I have a choice.

 

But it hurts so much, I feel as if the skies are crumbling down…

 

I know perhaps, you will never forgive me. I can only ask that you lead a better life, perhaps one which is not based on business relationships and exchange of contracts. I am but just another chess piece in my father’s life. It is so sad, but it is my destiny.

 

My heart will always be with you.

 

Love always

Freda.

 

And she sobbed uncontrollably, tears rolling down from her eyes, falling onto the diary page in the progress. She had tried so hard to suppress her feelings all these years, her duty towards her family taking precedence over her personal feelings. She had to do it.. she had no choice.

 

For so many years, she tried to find out where Hayden was, to no avail. It was as if he had disappeared from the face of this earth.

 

Her heart ached as this part of her history resurfaced. It was something so painful, she wished she could forget.

 

But, like many things in life, some things are not meant to be forgotten.

 

She closed her diary. “No use mulling over the past”, she thought to herself.

 

Then she suddenly thought of her mother. She had not talked to her in weeks… she wondered how her mother was. She remembered when she cried her heart out over her father’s draconian decision, her mother comforted her by saying,

 

“My dear girl, when you were born into this family, you were born with a responsibility even heavier than that of an average person. It is with this duty that you must obey your father’s wishes…as much as it hurts, it is only by obeying him, that you can fulfil your obligations. We do not have a choice. Cry, cry your heart out. Let the tears wash away your frustration. Let your soul be cleansed. And accept your fate, and move on.”

 

She picked up the phone and called her mother.

 

“Mom? Could we meet up somewhere this weekend? I haven’t talked to you in a while”

“Yeah sure. I’ll meet you at the train station.”

 

And so she packed her bags, took her diary with her and left a short note for Toby telling him that she would be back after a few days.