This post initially made its debut at my personal blog, where access is restricted to close friends. I am posting it up here for my own viewing pleasure. Should you come across this story, just bear in the mind the usual disclaimers: Characters and story line are strictly fictional. Any resemblance in real life is purely coincidence and I will not be responsible for any hurt/injury caused as a result of reading this story.

Now that the preliminaries have been dealt with, you may read this story at your own risk.

Rating: PG-Parental supervision required.

Karen sipped her soda in silence. Alicia told her something which totally threw her off balance.

"Owen's been seeing Uricka for over a year now. Did you know that?"

"No. It doesn't matter anyway. I've gotten over him now."

"But doesnt it bother you that he actually lied to you? That he proudly proclaimed that he was single and available? That he actually made advances on you and gave you hope?"

Of course it bothers me.

She needed an answer. So she called Owen up.

"Hey you havent called in a while," chirped Owen cheerfully.

"I've been busy." Karen wanted to say "I couldnt give a damn even if you were dead" but she wanted answers. And she needed to ask the correct question.

"So, I heard some things about you."

Owen got excited. "What?"

"That you're finally unavailable."

"What do you mean?"

"Oh come on. Everybody knows you've been seeing Uricka for over a year. Everyone except me."

"Where did that come from?"

Oh for f**k's sake.

"Owen, just be a man and admit it. Everybody knows already. You're the talk of the town."

And I am the class clown.

Silence ensued.

"You wanna go out for dinner?" he asked.

"No. I don't want to get too chummy with you and get slapped by somebody for no reason."

"Do you have to be like this?"

And she lost it.

"Yes! I am mad at you! You asked me to give you a chance. You asked me to get over my "hating men" phase and give you an opportunity. You gave me hope. When I asked you whether you were seeing anyone, you said no. All your friends knew you were dating her! And all of them kept quiet about it! What did you want from me, you bastard?"

Owen kept quiet.

"I just treated you as my friend, thats all."

"Go f**k yourself."

And she slammed the phone down.

What a crappy year, she thought to herself. First there was a guy who appeared out of nowhere, showered her with attention for one week and dissappeared. Then he made the occassional cameo appearance and expected her to be just as enthusiastic about him as he was about her.

Then Owen came in, pursuing her like a hot dog, encouraged by his friends, them knowing very well that he was going out with Uricka.

Karen felt sick.

Alicia patted her back.

"Time to join the pickled cucumber club love...."

Karen glanced at the shelves full of pickled "cucumbers". John's, Kian's, Wesley's...

Alicia drew out a marker and scribbled on a new jar.

"There you go."

It read: "Owen".

to be continued....

Continued from the last entry...

Karen looked at her watch. Alicia's words rung like church bells in her head.

"Get even, my dear. Let him know you're not the type to mess around with."

And so, heeding her ever so witty friend's advice, she graciously accepted Owen's invitation to dinner at Mackay's, his favourite restaurant.

He only goes there because the waitresses have 38C boobies and skirts so short they barely skim their butts.

As usual, Owen was late.

"Would you like another glass of warm water ma'am?" the waitress asked, her cleavage so deep it looked like she was going to bust out of her outfit any moment.

"No, thank you. I've had three glasses already. That should be sufficient."

Finally she spotted him in the distance.

"Darn, he IS good looking," she thought to herself. That was the exact reason why she fell for him in the first place.

He glided over to her table, flashing his megawatt smile as he hovered over her shoulder.

"I am so sorry to keep you waiting Karen, really. I had a meeting with my client earlier on, and he just won't stop talking!" Whatever...

The dinner went on rather uneventfully. Karen of course could not enjoy her meal as usual, partly because she still hated Owen's guts for two timing her (and being totally nonchalant about it) and partly because of her plans which she had in store for Owen.

In the car..

Karen touched Owen on his thighs.

"Come over to my place tonight", she whispered in his ear.

Owen could not resist. As long as he could remember he had never crossed the paremeter when it came to physical contact with Karen. She was always slow to warm up and he always ended up going home with an erection and no action.

Therefore without thinking twice he agreed. And conveniently forgot about the promise he made to Ulricka to meet up with her later that night.

At Karen's place...

If there was anything Karen was proud of, it was her bachelorette pad. A dwelling place of her own, bought using her hard earned savings and decorated according to her whims and fancy, it was her sanctuary, her nest, her home.

And tonight, she would give Owen a night to remember.

"Can I get you a drink?"

"Oh, I'll have a Scotch please."

"Why don't you make yourself comfortable in the living room while I take a shower," she smiled.

Owen felt a throb in his crotch.

"Ah, sure. Take your time."

There was an evil glint in her eye as Karen walked towards the mini bar in her apartment and poured a glass of Scotch for Owen. As he lazed in her couch, oblivious to the surroundings, she conveniently popped two sleeping pills into the drink and waited until the pills had dispersed.

"There you go Owen," she offered him the drink, coupled with her honey sweet voice.

Without second thoughts he wolved down the drink and smiled.

"Thanks Karen."

"I'll be right back," she smiled back, teased his greasy hair and went into the bathroom.

Owen could not believe his luck. Sure he believed that things were going well for him and Ulricka, but being a Catholic, there was no way he was going to get any closer to her before they tied the knot. Now he finally had the chance... even though it was clearly a two-timing act.

He felt his head getting heavier by the minute, although he was too overcome by lust to think any further.

I must have drunk too much, he though to himself, and before he knew it, he had lost consciousness and dropped on the floor with a loud thud.

Karen saw her chance. Without wasting any time she called up Alicia.

"He's passed out! Request for assistance!"

Within minutes Alicia arrived at her apartment with Gordon, her gay confidante.

"Oh isn't he a hottie?" Gordon exclaimed.

"Hush Gordie, you can have him later. Let us have some fun first."

"Aww man, why do I always get the leftovers? stamped Gordon.

Gordon was a personal trainer and in no time, he'd lifted Owen on Karen's four-poster bed. Gordon licked his lips as he tied Owen on all fours to the sides of the bed.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Gordon asked.

"Look he may be good looking but he's an arse anyway. Besides, this won't hurt him a bit so relax. You can have him to yourself later."

Alicia opened up her backpack of goodies.

Video cam, bottle of pickles with Owen's name, anasthetic solution, needles, corn syrup mixed with red colouring,ice cubes, knifes. etc...

And they were all set to scare the living daylights out of Owen.30 minutes later...

Owen squinted his eyes and slowly opened his eyes.

And he saw three persons hovering over him. They were wearing white gowns had surgical masks over their faces.

He tried to move. But he couldn't. He felt numbness waist down and when he looked to his left and right, he saw that his hands were bound to the bed. He struggled.

"Now now, calm down love," Gordon cackled in his high pitched voice. "This will only take a while. Relax!"

And he proceeded to sharpen the knives in his hands.

"What are you doing?" Owen screamed.

"Relax love. This won't hurt one bit."

And he started massaging Owen's nether regions.

Owen screamed and tried to break free.

Gordon was having the time of his life. Here was a hot guy, totally at his disposal. Initially, Alicia had suggested to Karen that she did the "honours", but Karen freaked out and decided against it.

"Ah, delicious," mumbled Gordon. He stared to roll an ice cube over Owen's genital areas.

Alicia positioned the video carefully, trying hard not to giggle in the process.

Gordon ran his fingers over Owen's thighs.

"Hottie we have here. Mmmm!"

Owen's face was as pale as a sheet as he screamed his lungs out.

Karen could not wait any longer. Clad in a white coat and surgical mask, she walked up to him and slapped

him continuously.

"WHOSE YOUR MOMMY NOW?" she growled.

"Who are you?" Owen demanded, albeit in a weak voice.

"Shut up. This is what happens to guys who try to be Casanova!", she growled.

Gordon was having the time of his life. He started going trigger happy and sharpened the knives even harder, making a screeching sound.

"I like my cucumbers spicy and nice, I like my cucumbers spicy and nice."

And finally, he rolled the ice cube over Owen's p**** and roared in laughter. Quickly he dipped the knives in the corn syrup and laughed.

Owen was tired from screaming and could only make whining sounds. He had no idea what was going own in his nether regions, as the wicked trio had cleverly put up a veil over his waist.

Gordon jumped in joy as he gleefully spluttered corn syrup all over the veil.

And he triumphantly displayed the bottle of pickled cucumber in front of Owen with his left hand, while his right hand grabbed the two knives splattered in blood.

"Isn't it a beauty? Now you won't need to worry about "entry" anymore? Buahahaha! That wasn't too difficult, was it?"

Owen saw the blood stained veil, stared at the bottle of pickled cucumber, felt numbness in his crotch, stared at the "blood stained" knife, managed one last feeble scream and passed out.

***

Two weeks later...

Owen was dumped by Ulricka, who received a CD compilation of the events that took place that night. The cover of the CD read " To Ulricka with love, my honest tribute to you from Owen". Needless to say, the aftermath of him passing out was of course, the deflowering ceremony by Gordon. And until today, he still has no idea why he had piles after that evening.

Karen managed to meet up one of Gordon's straight friends not long after the incident. She still keeps the bottle of pickled cucumbers in her closet, lest he two times her again and she would need to change the label to read whatever the unfortunate soul's name was.

The End...