I had the most idyllic weekend, honestly. Perhaps being down with the flu wasn't such a bad thing after all. I had the opportunity to sit my butt in front of the television and was fortunate enough to catch three prominent people in the film and music industry, namely:

Mr. Chen Kai Ge (director of He Ni Zai Yi Qi [Together with you], Jing Ke Ci Qing Wang [The Emperor and the Assassin]and his latest movie, Wu Ji[The Promise]).

Mdm. Zhou Xiao Yan ( soprano and now music teacher, China)

Chen Kai Ge is no stranger to the film industry. A very much acclaimed director, his movies have touched the hearts of many. Miss Yang Lan of Sun Television channel managed to ask him a few questions on his career... here are some of my favourite quotes from Mr. Chen-his witty response sent me into fits of laughter. Beyond the humour, you cannot but agree with him that it is the bare truth.

YL-Miss Yang Lan, the interviewer

CKG-Chen KaiGe, interviewee

YL: Mr. Chen, having made so many movies in your lifetime, have you ever thought of leaving behind a legacy... something which people would remember you by?

CKG: Absolutely not. Let me ask you a question. Do you think people want to look at the portrait of Mona Lisa just because they remembered it was painted by Michael Angelo? No. They want to look at the portrait because humans have the desire to satisfy their curiosity. It is just a matter of curiosity that spurs them to flood towards the Lourve Museum and nothing more. They want to know what is the hoohah all about. So I do not expect anybody to remember my works because of me. I prefer to concentrate on producing works of good quality.

YL: Tell us about your wife (Ms Chen Hong, a famous actress in China) and how the both of you ended up together. Was it because of her stunning good looks?

CKG: No, it was more than that. She had a very strong character about her which drew me to her instantly. She wrote me a letter, which I now quote:

"I shall not pursue further on the stage of our relationship. I am sure you have never ever thought of getting married. Neither have I. But at this stage, I believe it is something which should be done."

I admire her for her strength. She is a person who "ba da shi dang pi shi, ba xiao shi dang da shi" [to treat a significant matter as if it were nothing at all, and to treat an insignificant matter as greatly important].

YL: How is that so? Please give us an example.

CKG: For example, during the filming of Wu Ji, one of my investors decided to pull out of the film. Instead of wailing and panicking, my wife immediately said " Leave this to me, I will handle it" and she went about solving the problem without thinking twice. That is what I mean by "ba da shi dang pi shi".

On a separate occassion, she found out that one of the crew members was hurt in an accident while filming on set. Despite my objections, she insisted on going to the scene of the accident to make sure that everything necessary had been done and that the injured crew member was well taken care of. This is what I call "ba xiao shi dang da shi".

I owe a lot to her for her support and involvement in Wu Ji. As executive producer she was involved from beginning to end. There were nights, when we were done for the day, and she would wash her face in a basin of water. I could not differentiate between the tears that fell from her eyes and the droplets of water from the basin. I knew that I loved her.

***

Mdm Zhou Xiao-Yan, a talented soprano in the early 20s to 30s was one of the few musicians who received her music education overseas. Born in 1917, she has since retired from professional singing and dedicated a large portion of her life to music education.

In Coach's Notebook, Carmen in Shanghai, written by Mary Dibbern, an accompanist and vocal coach, she said the following of Mdm Zhou:

(my emphasis)

Excerpts from the interview between Yang Lan and Mdm Zhou:

YL: You are now 88 years of age. You look really good. Do you ever feel that age is catching up with you?

ZXY: Not at all. In fact, I feel even younger than ever.

YL: At a time where most scholars would have opted to stayed on in the foreign country which they completed their studies, you chose to come back. Why?

ZXY: I suppose it was a natural course of events. My father gave me the following words of advice before I left for France-" Always remember that you are Chinese and never let your people down. I now have the ability to send you overseas to pursue your studies. Upon completion of your studies, remember to come back and serve your country." So when I finished my studies, it seemed the right thing to do to come back to China. I never regretted my decision.

My father was a very patriotic man. He was proud to be Chinese and he taught me to be so.

Videos of Madame Zhou featuring her with her students in their concerts were truly touching. One of her students cried as he sang an ode to his beloved teacher.

YL: Would it be possible to say that the relationship between you and your students have surpassed the average relationship between a teacher and a student?

ZXY: Yes, you could say that. So much that my children blamed me when they were younger for not spending enough time with them. But my son wrote me a letter after he attended my 80th birthday party:

I was very touched after reading this letter.

YL: Tell us about your relationship with your husband.

ZXY: (Chuckles) Well, I didn't really have a good impression of people in the film industry at that time, and he being a director did not score well in my books initially. But he proved to be quite a charming person and the rest is well, history.

Perhaps the most difficult times that we went through, was his final years preceding his demise. He used to say that old age was the most unbearable stage of life that one has to go through. Death is not something which should be feared. One is born not because he made a choice, but because he was chosen. It is sickness at old age, which makes life unbearable.

The sparkle in her eyes as she speaks, reminds me how one can age beautifully and still be just as charismatic as one was in her younger years. Its all in the mind.

...

Two interviews with the most prominent figures in their respective professions, sharing with us their great words of wisdom. Kudos to Yang Lan for her efforts in her programme, "Yang Lan One on One."

Falling Leaves-by Adeline Yen Mah

The memoir of an unwanted Chinese daughter

This is the true story of Adeline Yen Mah, a physician, writer, wife and mother. Born into an affluent Chinese family who enjoyed rare privilleges during a time of political and cultural upheaval, the death of her mother due to complications at childbirth shortly after she was born, made her vulnerable to appalling emotional abuse at the hands of a cruel and manipulative Eurasian stepmother. However, Adeline managed to beat all odds, as she moved from Hong Kong to England and eventually to the United States.

The first chapter is set after the death of Adeline's father. His will was to be read to his children. It came as a shock to his children, as her stepmother's lawyer read that Mr. Yen had left nothing behind for his children....

For her entire life, she had the need to feel wanted... and this need was never fulfilled by her family. Instead, she was always the unwanted child-the child who caused her mother's death, the child who was the least attractive, the child who did not receive any hong bao (red packet) money during Chinese New Year, the child who was frowned upon by her parents, the object of ridicule of her siblings. Yet she never harboured hatred for her family. As one reads her painful story, unfolding the events of her traumatic childhood page by page, one can only but wonder in awe-how did she manage to keep that flicker of hope in her heart, that someday she might be accepted by her family?

It was indeed fortunate, that she found love in her Aunt Baba, who was also victimised under the draconian "ruling" of Adeline's stepmother. For many years they confided in each other, Aunt Baba giving her the recognition she needed as a high achiever in school, and comforting her late at nights after she had been brutally scolded by her stepmother.

A nagging thought lingered in my mind as I wondered why Adeline's stepmother would want to psychologically torture a young girl, who was, at the time, as harmless as a kitten. In fact, Adeline's stepmother even went to the extent of manipulating her other siblings to turn against her just so that the siblings would not unite and turn against her.

It could only mean one thing... that Adeline is truly an outstanding girl with so much potential in her to succeed, so much that she viewed her as a threat to her position in the family.

A little digression, if I may...

In those days, it is not uncommon for relatives to shower profanities and demoralise the brighter children in the family. It is the epitome of all jealousy. Children at that time were taught to be seen and not heard. I can relate to this because my mom was also a product of a family consisting of many family members staying under one roof. Being a high achiever in school did not earn her praise, but instead she was subject to physical and verbal abuse by her aunts. Being the daughter of the eldest son in the family, she was taught to take all of these taunts in her stride and not to complain.

"We don't want other relatives to say that your father does not know how to teach his children," said my grandmother.

Indeed, a large Chinese family in those days were good training grounds for survival. You had to be extraordinarily strong to withstand the anguish and the torment which surrounded you. Everything is of course, hidden from the outside world by the magnificent walls of your compound.

Back to Adeline. Choosing to seclude herself in the world of books at her school library, (she was sent to a boarding school and never had visitors throughout her duration at the school) her creative juices flowed and she entered a play writing competition. It was by winning this competition that she managed to get the nod from her father to send her to England to study.

Her first marriage ended in divorce. However, she found true love in her now husband, Bob who also inspired her to write her autobiography. I am truly happy for her.

I will not attempt to disclose more of the contents in her book... you need to read it in order to appreciate how beautiful and sad her story is.

One positive thing came out from reading her story though... it taught me to have a gracious heart and to be thankful for everything that I have. The love and support of a family, which the author was deprived of as a child.

For those who have not read this book, I strongly recommend it.